Selfie therapy Monday January 15 2018

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adelamonica january 14 2018 2

Selfie therapy monday:  Good morning. Happy Monday! How are you today? I hope that you had a peaceful weekend.

Last week was a week of awakening for me. My father is in the hospital recovering from complications of dialysis, the treatment of which required surgery. This is the second time in six months that his life has been at risk due to complications of dialysis. It has become clear that if he does not receive a kidney soon, he will lose his life to the very process that is keeping him alive. I mentioned this in my previous post.

I am mentioning this subject again because it is on my mind. Fashion is a nice distraction, but sometimes you have to stop distracting yourself from your reality and face the truth about life. Things are not important at the end of the day. Designer bags and shoes and clothes are no doubt nice to have, but none of these things can give you comfort It reminds me of another post I wrote recently about the fashion blogger who disappeared. While we are in the middle of indulging our passion for fashion, life sends wildfires, tornadoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, even an occasional volcanic eruption. Someone ends our life with a gun or other weapon, we get cancer or some other incurable disease, we are unfortunate to be on a plane that crashes, a bus, a train, a car or other mode of transportation that crashes, we fall off a cliff and die while taking a selfie to post to our Instagram and Facebook (this has happened in reality).

I’m not going to pretend I know the meaning of life. I remember once posting something on my Facebook music page and someone commented about how I didn’t know the meaning of life and etc. They meant it to judge and criticize me I guess, but the fact is, I don’t know the meaning of life. That person who left the comment also does not know the meaning of life. I don’t think anyone really knows the meaning of life. We can only seek meaning in our own individual lives. And if/when we find that meaning, we should not expect that everybody in the world will live according to what we believe to be the right way to live a meaningful life.

Don’t ask me what my point is. I don’t know. I am just glad that my dad is still with us. But I realize that we’re just buying a little more time. And it might not be much that we are given. I might not have my dad around for very much longer. But then, I might not be around for very much longer myself. Anything can happen to anybody at any given time on any given day. And so, with that in mind, I am trying to let go of a lot of the things that have been preventing me living my life. At the top of the list, shame over my appearance, fear of being rejected, disliked, judged and criticized, mocked, laughed at for being “strange”, “weird”, “trifling”, “annoying” and all of the adjectives that are typically used to describe me in a way that suggests there are a million and one things wrong with me. Time seems to fly by these days. You blink your eyes and you’ve moved up in the line that leads to the edge of the cliff that takes us away from the living world. Every year, I move one position closer to being next in line to be pushed off that cliff.

Anyway, my goal here isn’t to depress anyone. Believe it or not, what I’m trying to do is to point out the importance of living your life and being yourself and trying to be at peace as much as you possibly can, knowing the inevitable end of life is something that you cannot control. Love yourself. Love the people in your life. Try to live in a higher frame of mind.

Peace

M

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Monica
Singer songwriter Adelamonica AKA Avenue Sixty editor in chief. Writing as Monica for The Monica Archives. Writing has always been one of my passions. In fact, when I was a teenager, I used to tell people they should remember my name, because I was going to become a famous author. I used to live to write and write to live--not in the sense of writing for income but writing to combat depression and to feel a sense of purpose. I've written novels, poems, articles and essays that I tried unsuccessfully to get published over many years starting in my teens. When I discovered blogging several ages ago, I turned to that avenue as a means of doing what I love without having to worry about publishers and their rejection letters. Modeling is also something I have always enjoyed and something I wanted very badly to do as a teenager. So badly that I used to lie and tell people I was a model. I would carry around a large portfolio style photo album and claim it was my modeling portfolio. But, as with my writing, the people with the power to make my modeling dreams come true saw nothing in me that made them stop me in the streets of New York to offer me a modeling contract with their agency. So when I discovered the ability to photograph my own self (before cell phones and selfies) I took up a hobby of pretend modeling at home and that hobby has remained with me throughout my life as a form of self expression and self therapy. I ask that you kindly excuse my lack of worldliness and any instances where I demonstrate lack of tact or lack of knowledge and even lack of basic intelligence in my writing and posing. I'm just here trying to have a little fun doing the things that make me happy. I'm just an average human for whom writing and posing and singing and dancing and the other things I do are ways I express myself and keep myself going on this ever challenging journey of life. I hope you will find something even remotely useful or interesting in the things I share.

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