The red bag or the olive?


Scarlett is getting ready to go out.

She has put together an outfit that is comprised of a $240 Vivienne Westwood Anglomania Scale Jacket in red tartan an $805 Donna Karan black gathered jersey turtleneck a $530 pair of True Religion Stella Super T Last Stan skinny jeans and a pair of $1 250 Jimmy Choo Mirage leather knee boots.

She has brought out her olive Burberry bag and her red Gianfranco Ferre bag. She’s trying to decide which one to take along.

While Scarlett is busy contemplating each bag the bags get into an argument which of course Scarlett cannot hear because she is human and humans cannot hear the conversations of the inanimate objects around them except when they are high on some type of hallucinogenic drug. Scroll down below images to read the story.
Burberry Bag

$1,059 (Buy),


Gianfranco Ferre Bag

$399 (Buy),

Olive Burberry Bag

(speaking to red bag in a hoity toity British accent),

You know she’s going to pick me don’t you?

Red bag stares at olive bag but says nothing.

Olive Burberry Bag

No offense but you don’t really go with the outfit she’s planning to wear. You’re a little too–hmm how to say–glaringly red?

Red bag continues to stare at Olive bag saying nothing.

Olive bag gets quiet for a moment but then she starts up again.

Olive Burberry Bag

You have a really maddening way about you do you know that?

Red bag still says nothing

Olive Burberry Bag

The nerve of you thinking you’re so special. How much do you cost? What $399? And how much do I cost? That’s right” $1 ,059 which is more than twice what you cost so who’s superior to who huh?

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag

(imitating a British accent),

It’s whom

Olive Burberry Bag

Pardon Me?

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag

You used incorrect grammar. It’s who’s superior to whom not who’s superior to who.

Olive bag hisses

Olive Burberry Bag

What a nerve to be correcting my grammar. I’m British. My grammar is correct by default. My accent makes everything I say right.

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag


Olive Burberry Bag

Excuse me?

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag

Right is a problematic word to use at the end of that statement. If you wrote that as a sentence the word could be read in the context of everything right that I say which would then confuse the reader as to why there is a full stop when you clearly haven’t finished your thought.

Olive Burberry Bag

You’re full of s**t.

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag

Actually I’m fully of nothing but balled up crepe paper at the moment; but shortly I will be filled with everything Scarlett plans to take with her when she goes out.

Olive Burberry Bag

We’ll see won’t we?

Red Gianfranco Ferre bag

We surely will

Cut to: 30 minutes later. We see Scarlett walking through the lobby of the posh Manhattan building where she lives. She’s wearing the outfit she had selected to wear but strapped over her shoulder is a black Louis Vuitton Epi Petit Noe bag.



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