It’s annoying to hear if you’re on the receiving end of it but it’s a cold hard fact: We can’t all be beautiful. In defense of the idea that we’re not beautiful many of us have challenged the definition of beauty. What is beauty anyway? Who decides what’s beautiful? And when we can’t get anywhere with that angle we start to talk about beauty being skin deep and how it’s what’s on the inside that counts. All of this is perfectly valid. What “is” beauty? Who does decide what’s beautiful? And since beauty fades why is it given such importance?

closeup of beautiful indian woman

How do you feel about your looks?

Everybody wants to be beautiful. But by the standard definitions of beauty, most of us are not beautiful. When you want to be beautiful but you don’t look the way society says you should look to be classified beautiful, it can be very hard. You look at yourself in the mirror and you tear yourself apart. Your face isn’t shaped right. Your skin is rough. You have dark spots. You have acne. Your nose is too broad or it looks like a beak or it’s in some other way just not the definition of a perfect nose. Your mouth is too wide. Your lips are too thin. Your lips are too big. Your chin is shaped funny. You don’t have any cheekbones. Your cheeks look like you’re storing gumballs. Your eyes are too small. Your eyes are too big. Your eyebrows are thin. Your eye lashes are short. You have warts. You have moles. You have lines and wrinkles. There’s no end to the things that imperfect women who wish they were perfect (and some men as well) will trash themselves over and use as justification for hating what they see when they look in the mirror.

Beauty Matters

Let’s be honest. So much is made of being beautiful that it’s hard not to hate yourself when you look in the mirror and you see multiple imperfections. People do notice one way or another. And everybody wants to be noticed favorably. So it can be difficult when your list of imperfections is vast. It’s understandable that a person would be frustrated especially when they see people getting ahead in life just on their looks alone.

beautiful indian woman in yellow

But hating yourself only makes matters worse

Everybody’s got something interesting about them. The problem is that you can’t convince everybody to see what’s interesting about you. Some people will see it and some people won’t. But if you’re going around hating yourself because you don’t look a certain way, that inner self-hate will show on the outside. And it will likely overshadow what is interesting about you. So when you look at yourself in the mirror remove the ideas in your head about what you should look like. Acknowledge what you see. If you have bad skin, start trying to improve your skin. That alone can do wonders. You weren’t born with bad skin. Your bad skin does not define you and more than likely you can do things to improve it. So do what you can to correct what can be corrected. And do what you can to enhance your looks. But never hate yourself because your face isn’t “pretty”. Because people who value you for having a pretty face don’t really value you at all. And the moment you lose your looks, which everyone inevitably does, they will lose interest in you. You’ll be worth nothing to them.

Photos copyright: michaeljung / 123RF Stock Photo

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Hello, I'm Adela Lewis aka singer songwriter Adelamonica. I am the founder, creative director, editor in chief and main writer for avenuesixty.com. First let me say, I myself cringe at some of the things I've written on this blog which I started in 2012 (including what I'm writing now). It is completely embarrassing to realize how miserably I've been failing to hide the fact that I lack sophistication, and often times lack enlightenment on very basic topics. I wish I had never written half the things I've written on here, but I did write them. In my defense, I'm human. There is much I do not know about anything and sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to learn and grow. To be clear, I am just a regular person who enjoys writing, modeling, and doing things that make me happy and keep me actively engaged in living and being . I refer to myself as "editor in chief" and "creative director" because, owning the blog as I do and being the one who creates and edits the content (with the exception of content submitted by third party contributors), I feel that I have the freedom to do so. Via this blog, I am contributing my personal thoughts and ideas and beliefs on everyday topics of discussion--at times topics on which I am not particularly well informed, but about which I might still have a point of view--much like most other people on the planet . The things I write should be regarded in the light of diary/journal style and essay style writings, reviews and reports exploring the topics I attempt to discuss. Please recognize that I have no academic or other professional credentials and I do not represent my points of view as carrying any weight or having anything of significant value to contribute to serious discussions held by experts on any topic featured. I apologize in advance for any errors major or minor that I make in my writing (I have made some embarrassing errors), anything I write that can be perceived as an offense or that is otherwise insensitive or needlessly critical and disparaging of any person. I am a work in progress and committed to striving to live consciously in a spirit of light and love. It does not mean I will not sometimes act and write in contradiction of that goal.

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