30 days to a more fulfilling life: Day 1 morning

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water ginger bay leaf tea spinach kale coconut milk blended drink breakfast cr

I am having breakfast as I sit at my computer typing. My breakfast is an all liquid breakfast. 3 recycled glass jars of varying sizes containing water, ginger and bay leaf tea, spinach kale and coconut milk blended drink. ginger and bay leaf tea spinach kale coconut milk blended drink

This is my Day 1 breakfast. The tea is made by boiling fresh ginger and bay leaves in a pot of water for 30 minutes to an hour, depending upon how strong you want the tea. The green drink is made by blending spinach and kale in coconut milk.

Getting my mind and body in sync is going to be the most important aspect of this 30 day effort to start living a more fulfilling life.

The television is on in the living room. Roger Federer is playing Damir Džumhur in the 3rd round of the French Open. I have no idea who Damir Džumhur is; but I’ve been a Federer fan for a good few years. I’m rooting for him to win another grand slam before he retires. I just don’t want it to be the French Open because I want Rafael Nadal to win his 10th French Open title. But if Rafa gets ousted and Roger is still alive in the tournament I’ll definitely be rooting for Roger to win the French.

Of course both Roger and Rafa already have so much. They are hugely successful with multi-million dollar bank accounts to show for their life achievements. Their wife/girlfriend likely own one  single item of clothing that costs 5 times more than the combined cost of everything in my closet. So I’d do well to invest my rooting energy into myself I think.

Last night I decided that I want to try again to enhance my life. Exactly what that means is not 100% clear to me right now. It seems like I’ve made plans to live a more fulfilling life about a million times starting since my teen years. I remember my 10th grade teacher Ms. Jenkins recommending a book about affirmations and creative visualization. I tried the affirmations and the creative visualization but it didn’t work. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough?

And another teacher, Mrs. Bradley, recommended L. Ron Hubbard’s book on Dianetics.

I’ve read so many self help books in my quest to live a happier more fulfilling life. I should know better than to think there’s anything I can do in the next 30 days to successfully pull off what I have not been able to pull off since I was a teenager. But I figure it’s still worth a try.

What does living a more fulfilling life mean to me?

That is what I’m trying to figure out for myself. I’m not even sure if I can say my life is not fulfilling. What does a fulfilling life look like? What does it feel like? Obviously there’s no single picture of what a fulfilling life looks like. Everybody’s life is different. Sometimes it feels like you’re supposed to live your life a certain way in order for people to think your life is worth something. But you’re not living for people. You’re living for yourself. And what matters isn’t how people perceive you and what they think of your life. It’s how you see yourself and how you feel about your life.

I guess I know that I don’t feel fulfilled in my life. What I don’t know is what will it take to make me feel fulfilled? Like many people I imagine that having money would change my life for the better. Say whatever you will but money gives you options. And it’s good to have options. But I don’t have money so it would defeat the purpose for me to go with the mindset that a fulfilling life is something you can only buy. I have to believe a fulfilling life can be created out of nothing. I have to believe that it’s possible to live a more fulfilling life even if my financial situation never changes.

But I first have to identify what things make me feel fulfilled in life. Or at the very least identify the things that make me feel like my life is lacking.

So that will be my homework for today. To make a list of the things that I believe would make me happy in life, even if they turn out not to make me happy at the end of it all. And to make a list of the things in my life with which I am not happy. Envision the life I think I want, and assess how my life currently holds up to that picture. And identify what it will take to create the life I envision. Also figure out if this is the life my heart truly desires or the life I think I want based on looking at and coveting other people’s lives.

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Monica
Singer songwriter Adelamonica AKA Avenue Sixty editor in chief. Writing as Monica for The Monica Archives. Writing has always been one of my passions. In fact, when I was a teenager, I used to tell people they should remember my name, because I was going to become a famous author. I used to live to write and write to live--not in the sense of writing for income but writing to combat depression and to feel a sense of purpose. I've written novels, poems, articles and essays that I tried unsuccessfully to get published over many years starting in my teens. When I discovered blogging several ages ago, I turned to that avenue as a means of doing what I love without having to worry about publishers and their rejection letters. Modeling is also something I have always enjoyed and something I wanted very badly to do as a teenager. So badly that I used to lie and tell people I was a model. I would carry around a large portfolio style photo album and claim it was my modeling portfolio. But, as with my writing, the people with the power to make my modeling dreams come true saw nothing in me that made them stop me in the streets of New York to offer me a modeling contract with their agency. So when I discovered the ability to photograph my own self (before cell phones and selfies) I took up a hobby of pretend modeling at home and that hobby has remained with me throughout my life as a form of self expression and self therapy. I ask that you kindly excuse my lack of worldliness and any instances where I demonstrate lack of tact or lack of knowledge and even lack of basic intelligence in my writing and posing. I'm just here trying to have a little fun doing the things that make me happy. I'm just an average human for whom writing and posing and singing and dancing and the other things I do are ways I express myself and keep myself going on this ever challenging journey of life. I hope you will find something even remotely useful or interesting in the things I share.

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