30 days to a more fulfilling life day 7 – do more of what you love

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tennis racket balls sneakers

I love tennis. I’m pretty good at it too. I couldn’t take a point off Serena Williams. A “double bagel” wouldn’t suffice to explain the beat down she’d put on me. They’d call the match in her favor a few points in to spare her the insult of having to play so inferior an opponent. Heck, I would probably struggle to win a few points off the number 500 ranked WTA tennis player in the world. But I’m a reasonably decent low-level amateur tennis player. Sadly, I haven’t played tennis in a while.

There are plenty of other things I love to do but I don’t do them. Mostly it’s because I’m usually busy blogging trying to make a living. But while blogging trying to make a living, I’m not living. I tell myself it’s because I’m not “making a living” blogging. I’m not making the money that I need that would enable me to live.

But does a person really need money to live?

Sure having money makes things easier. It allows you to live a fun and exciting life. Or at least what looks like a fun and exciting life from the outside looking in. You get to wear amazing shoes, and carry awesome bags and wear gorgeous clothes. You get to go to amazing places in the world. You get to lounge around on yachts. You can afford the best products to keep you looking gorgeous. You get to party all the time. What could possibly not be great about that?

But there are so many ways one can live a more fulfilling life that do not require having money. So not having money really isn’t an excuse for me to not be living a fulfilling life.

Take the tennis for example. I have access to tennis courts. I have access to someone with whom to play tennis. But I allow myself excuses to not go out to the courts. It’s always something.

Confession: I haven’t really been actively trying to live a more fulfilling life since I started this 30-day mission.

To actively try to live a more fulfilling life you have to get up and do things. You don’t necessarily have to travel to Greece and Italy. But you should be doing more of what you love.  That is how you fill your life. You fill your life by living it authentically. Being who you are. Doing the things that make you the real and complete person that you are.

I spend a great deal of time looking at pictures of other people who are busy living. I do it for work; but even so, it’s important that I am spending more time living my own life than the time I spend looking at pictures of other people living their lives. Life is short. And everybody should have ways of filling their lives whether they have a half a billion dollars in the bank or $2 in the bank, which happens to be what I have in my account at the present moment (I’m very serious).

Joy isn’t something you have to buy. Joy is free. You just have to be able to figure out how to create joyful experiences in your life.

The key is to keep everything in balance. Being wealthy is nice. But if you can be healthy mentally, emotionally and physically, that empowers you almost as much as money can. So fill your life by filling your mind and your heart and your body and your soul. Do more of the things you love. And do them every day. Eat well. Get physical. Read things that strengthen your mind, things that strengthen your resolve, things that keep you inspired and motivated.

And dress well…

This one is something I really need to start getting on top of. It doesn’t seem important, but more and more I’m realizing that it is very important. My tendency is to not care too much how I look. But I’m realizing that style is part of the package of living a balanced life. It matters the way you dress. I’m not talking about how it matters out there in society where people watch you and judge you based on your appearance. I’m talking about the impact that your style choices have on you.

You might think you dress according to how you feel. And you probably do. But how you dress affects how you feel as much as how you feel affects how you dress. So you can trap yourself in a cycle when you don’t put thought and care into your appearance. It’s fine if you don’t care. Except, when we say we don’t care it usually just means that we do care, but we’ve given up. And we’ve given up not realizing there are small things we can do to empower ourselves. Like taking a little bit more care to dress in a way that helps us feel a little bit better about ourselves. Style can do that. It can make you feel better about yourself. It can make you feel happier or grumpier depending on how you think you look. Whether style should have that power or not is for a different discussion. The reality is you can choose clothes that increase your confidence. Or you can choose clothes that decrease it. That’s a choice that you should not shrug off as vain and irrelevant. Because everything comes down to how much or how little confidence you have in yourself. And your appearance usually affects your level of confidence.

 

 

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Monica
Singer songwriter Adelamonica AKA Avenue Sixty editor in chief. Writing as Monica for The Monica Archives. Writing has always been one of my passions. In fact, when I was a teenager, I used to tell people they should remember my name, because I was going to become a famous author. I used to live to write and write to live--not in the sense of writing for income but writing to combat depression and to feel a sense of purpose. I've written novels, poems, articles and essays that I tried unsuccessfully to get published over many years starting in my teens. When I discovered blogging several ages ago, I turned to that avenue as a means of doing what I love without having to worry about publishers and their rejection letters. Modeling is also something I have always enjoyed and something I wanted very badly to do as a teenager. So badly that I used to lie and tell people I was a model. I would carry around a large portfolio style photo album and claim it was my modeling portfolio. But, as with my writing, the people with the power to make my modeling dreams come true saw nothing in me that made them stop me in the streets of New York to offer me a modeling contract with their agency. So when I discovered the ability to photograph my own self (before cell phones and selfies) I took up a hobby of pretend modeling at home and that hobby has remained with me throughout my life as a form of self expression and self therapy. I ask that you kindly excuse my lack of worldliness and any instances where I demonstrate lack of tact or lack of knowledge and even lack of basic intelligence in my writing and posing. I'm just here trying to have a little fun doing the things that make me happy. I'm just an average human for whom writing and posing and singing and dancing and the other things I do are ways I express myself and keep myself going on this ever challenging journey of life. I hope you will find something even remotely useful or interesting in the things I share.

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